Dear M,

I’ve reached a point in my healing journey where I have been forced to confront some ugly truths about myself and my behavior. The biggest realization that I’ve come to is that I have to reclaim some of my power that I’ve lost over the years through relationships with toxic people. You and I have a very toxic relationship which I’ve tried to ignore for far too long and allowed you to claim way too much power over me because of it.

You and I are not good for one another. I keep hoping that you’re going to change and become the person that I believe you to be and that’s simply not something you are capable of doing. I have tried to help you and that’s been to my own detriment. You are the person that you are and not likely to change and that is simply someone who is not a good person for me to have in my life. I have allowed you to claim too much power over me in the interest of keeping you in my life for selfish reasons. I became so accustomed to chaos in my life during my childhood that I sought out people and relationships which emulated that chaos and validated my experience that shaped my paradigm of how the world exists. But I’ve discovered that I have to relearn how to have relationships that are not chaotic and toxic and strive to validate a new paradigm that there is good in the world and that people can be healthy for me. I can’t do that if you are still on the periphery for me to come to when I need to seek out a chaotic and toxic experience.

I forgive you for the hurt and pain that you’ve inflicted on me over the years. I need to be able to move forward in my life and I can’t do that if I’m still clinging to the pain and trauma I experienced at your hands. My forgiveness doesn’t mean that I’m absolving you of any responsibility for the pain but I’m reclaiming my power and releasing the anger that I’ve held on to for far too long. It would be easy for me to remain angry with you for everything that you’ve done but that doesn’t help me and I need to heal from my experiences if I’m going to be able to move forward.

I’m at peace with how we’re ending things now. I’m going to move forward and build the life that I know I deserve without the specter of you hanging over my head. I hope you know now that words are powerful and are more careful and considerate in what you choose to say to those around you. I wish you to know that your anger has an impact on those around you and when you choose to become violent other people suffer. But most of all I hope you are able to live a life that you can be proud of and that you are able to find fulfillment. I forgive you for the things that you said and did in the past and while I have no desire to have any sort of friendship with you just know that I wish you light and love in your life.

Best,

S